My Hippocratic Oath

So guess what this week is? Yep, that's right, it's "Change the Way You See, Not the Way You Look" week. (If you didn't guess that, it's all right, we forgive you.) See, this week is the week that Operation Beautiful's first-ever-brand-new book comes out! This is a website that I've followed for a while now, you should check it out. ;)

If you'll look at my previous (two) blog posts, you'll see that they both contain something about my best friend and her eating disorders. It's become such a huge part of both of our lives that it's hard to not write about. If you don't know already, she has both anorexia and bulimia, at least from what I can tell. She tries really hard to eat as little as possible or not at all, and when she has to eat, she tries to "get rid of it", or throw it up. I can see the strain it has on her. And the worst thing is, I'm the only one that knows. Not a great position to be in. So I'm the cheerleader for now, telling her that she's beautiful (which I absolutely believe) and strong enough to fight it. And I'm not going to lie, it is hard a lot of the time. I'm constantly terrified for her. I mean, what if she dies? That would be completely and utterly my fault for not telling anyone (and if I believe it's going to get to that point, I will in a second). I've gone to bed crying just thinking about it. We're both emotional messes.

At the same time, I'm sort of being a hypocrite because, well, I'm not exactly the most confident girl in the world either. I've spent a long time hating myself, or just believing that I'm not good enough. For example, every time a guy likes me, I think it's a cruel joke because I'm not as pretty as the other girls or the funniest or the smartest or... It's a never ending cycle. I ended up thinking that my pale skin was pasty and vampire-esque, while I know now that it's like porcelain. I used to hate the psoriasis that plagued my upper arms, but I now realize it's not so bad. My forest green eyes are envious, but not to me: I wanted sky blue instead. I could spend hours giving you lists of everything I hated about myself.

But you know what? I overcame it. I learned (yes, learned) to love myself the way I was made. God made me perfectly and in His image. Who am I to insult the Creator? I can only hope that my friend can learn to see it the way I do. If there's anything I can do to help her, I'll do it in a heartbeat. That's my Hippocratic Oath.

xoxo,

Isis